he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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