his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
