Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
