I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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