Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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