I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
