I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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