is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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