He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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