why didn't you poke me back
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm like, not good at living.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
