you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think a kid would responsible me up
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
