she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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