I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
