Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
