Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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