where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Don't make out with my wife yet
He told me they were just razor bumps!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
