i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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