You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I got inside last night via doggy door
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
