So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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