The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
