There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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