talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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