Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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