Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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