you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
