Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
