Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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