We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
