you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
