So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
