Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
