Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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