i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
