I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize