I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
