did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
