actually, I'm a sock model
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
