he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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