So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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