Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Come on in and take your pants off
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