How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
