if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
