just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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