ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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