I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
