You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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