i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
