okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
