i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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