OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
