Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize