Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
