her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
