Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
