who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
