im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Christians are straight up FREAKS
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
