The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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