Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize