I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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